Navigating Family Collisions
Topic: Sunday Message Verse: 2 Samuel 15:1–15:15, 2 Samuel 13:21–13:23, Romans 12:17–12:19
Navigating Family Collisions
The seventh of eight messages in a series about how we can navigate the relational conflicts we face in life
The Perfect Family does not exist. It is a figment of someone's imagination that is used to make us believe that we are not good enough and never will be.
How we navigate family conflict could have consequences for future generations.
2 Samuel 15:1-15 NIV
1 In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. 2 He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” 3 Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” 4 And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.” 5 Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel. 7 At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. 8 While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: ‘If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.’ ” 9 The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he went to Hebron. 10 Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, ‘Absalom is king in Hebron.’ ” 11 Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter. 12 While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing. 13 A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.” 14 Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin on us and put the city to the sword.” 15 The king’s officials answered him, “Your servants are ready to do whatever our lord the king chooses.”
2 Samuel 13:21-23 NIV
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. 23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there.
Avoiding Conflict NOW means Inviting Consequences LATER.
Being RIGHT or GETTING EVEN never resolves conflict... it usually escalates it.
BOTTOM LINE: When our families collide, the most important thing is to FIGHT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP.
WHAT WE CAN DO:
1. CLARIFY WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT
2. ENGAGE DON'T AVOID
3. BELIEVE DON'T BLAME
4. SEEK UNDERSTANDING
5. PURSUE PEACE
Romans 12:18 NIV
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18 MSG
18 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
Romans 12:17-19 NIV
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Pursuing Peace means extending and receiving FORGIVENESS.
FIGHT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP.